The Teams: My Initial Thoughts

The Gaghan Family

I have dubbed this team in my mind team "Picket Fence and a Golden Retriever"--because you just know they have both of those at home. Sounds like Bill, the dad, has a pretty cush job in jet engine sales?! That's a profession you don't hear of often. Probably because there is only one page of airplane manufacturers in the country, and, seriously, how many engine salesmen do you need to supply, like, thirty companies? Judging from their colonial-style brick house in the back of their picture, he must be at the top of his game. Tammy, the mom, works as a substitute teacher. Now, after having done that for a couple of years, mad props to her. You know she knows how to keep kids of all ages in line, and that will help her manipulate the kids on the other teams in to listening to her. Trust me. I know the tricks. Oh, how cute the kids are! Little 12 year old Billy going through pre-teen mood swings. I would say they're definitley fulfilling number 11 on this list of "what to do with your moody annoying kid when you can't ship them off to school--where you'll probably run into them anyways since you're a sub". And little Carissa. You know, I like third graders. While I was doing the aforementioned teaching, nine year olds were the last time kids were normal until they emerged as cool near adults around age seventeen. It was just those eight years in the middle that were a pain. While the kids are young, they're young enough to not react to everything with "that's stupid, MOM" and an eye-roll. I'm giving these guys a predicted 5th place finish.

The Schroeder Family

You know, any family with a kid named "Hunter" is just screaming "I don't want to travel around the world with a backpack! I want to sit out on my Ralph Lauren Polo beach towel at the country club on the lawnchairs by the pool with a sucker in my mouth but with one of those battery powered holders for it so all I have to do is open my mouth and it turns itself! Pass me a Mai Thai!" Now, I guess this is Char's job, so she's all about providing for those country club types. And maybe I'm wrong. And the older daughter, Stassi (with one of those stupid spelling for a normal name) is a beauty queen, and beauty queens have done well before. I'm not quite sure why my initial negative reaction against this team is so strong. Based on that alone, I predict an 8th place finish.

The Aiello Family

You gotta dig a dad that wants to run this race with his three sons-in-law. After all, I'm named after a poem about a father and his three daughters. And they're from Massachusetts, and I've got an inclination for East Coast teams. Maybe it's because, as a general rule, East Coasters are used to a more strenuous pace of life and are better suited for the race? Or that I really wish I lived out that way as opposed to where I am? I don't know, but I like the look of these dudes. Tony, the dad-in-law, strikes me as an actual race fan. The "mature" people on the Race who are actual fans are really fun to watch. Until they turn into a mix between a screaming harpy and Wonder Woman. And the three dudes are a PR guy, a corporate project manager, and a police officer (who used to be in the Marines. This might become my team "Okay Good Bye Now"). All good things, and maybe it will keep them out of a Tanzanian Jail if they don't want to pay their cab fare with those negotiation and law skills on their side. Eventually I think the strain will come to pass, however, but not before they reach my predicted 4th place finish.

The Rogers Family

A second team from Louisiana! I like this season already! Mom and Dad are a beauty pageant trainer and someone "in the car buisness". I'm going to read that as "used care salesman", otherwise I think you would probably say your actual job title. Older daughter is a kick ass kickboxer who has an affinity for those annoying headbands that look like those Multiples clothing that were all the rage when I was a kid (I'm having a hard time finding a link to a website that has that fashion atrocity on it. If anyone finds one, let me know and you score your first points of the season). Younger son's a shaggy haired dude named Brock. I like the look of the team. I know their accents are going to be awesome. They're all smily. But I think there's going to be some chemistry between Brock and 17 year-old beauty queen Stassi Schroeder which is going to lead to the alliance--and demise--of this team. My prediction? 9th place finish.

The Black Family

I really want to talk to the casting agent who decided that, on the season where we are calling teams by their last names, it'd be a wise idea to cast the one African American family with the last name of "Black" so that every time they go up to the Amazing Mat at the pitstop Phil will have to say, "Black Family, you're team number xxxx". Anyone who has read the blog in the past knows I'm really not the most PC person ever (see the Amazing Race 7 blog, and do a text search for Baghdad--you'll get the picture), so, unless there are any strong objections, these guys just became team (Token). Enough with the bad jokes. On to the team itself. Dad is a high school math teacher, mom is a fifth grade teacher. Go EDUCATORS! Like Tammy Gaghan, they will have a good handle on their kids and the other kids on the race. And little Carissa Gaghan and Austin Black are both going into fourth grade! I hope they get to be good friends. They can entertain themselves on the plane rides by kicking the backs of the chairs of the people in front of them, who are hopefully the Schroeders to throw them off their game. Like the Gaghans, I really want this team to do well. But I think the youth of the kids will finally bring them down. I predict a 6th place finish.

Team Weaver

Well, any team whose now deceased father / husband was a professional race car driving who died on the racetrack has both 1) a competitive drive and 2) a reason to win. They are the heartstring team of the season, one which I will tolerate better than "oh my god, I'm infertile", "people see me and they just think I'm short", "we're going to show the world what gay people can do", or "I lost my brother on 9/11 and he's really the third member of our team". Now, before y'all go and think I'm insensitive, know that I really liked all of the teams I just mentioned. If you want to see evidence of my evil, text search the Amazing Race 7 blog for Baghdad. I like the look of these four. They look like fun, they're athletic, and the little dude's name is Rolly. I predict a good future for these dudes. In fact, I think I'm looking at my 2nd place team.

Team Linz

Well, their last name is an Austrian city. But their from Ohio, and that's a little close to the U of M / Ohio State rivalry for most people reading this blog. And dudes, while you are definitley
Team Gorgeous, matching orange and khaki? No no no. I really don't like that color combination. In fact, I will not wear my trademark orange converse high tops if I'm wearing my khakis. What worries me a little bit is that the love Cincinnati so much that I think all of them still live there. Are they going to be able to be away from home long enough without pining for The Haymarket Riot? Despite my initial, "huh, I'm not so sure I like these dudes", the fact that they range in age from 19 to 24 will bode well, and they all look athletic. I predict a 3rd place finish.

The Bransen Family

I'm not so sure how I feel about a family whose claim to fame is that they once starred in a Pert Shampoo commerical together. I mean, they couldn't even get the Pert PLUS?!?! And it's a dad with five daughters. How did they decide who to leave at home? Save it for Family Feud, you know? Dad's into history, which is good. The daughters are a social worker, communications person, and a college student.
But here's why I don't like them.
The two younger daughters went to HOPE COLLEGE. Hope, the Dutch Christian Reformed Church's answer to the location of my freshman year of collegiate hell. Not cool in my book. Maybe it's my personal bias, but I just don't think these dudes are long for the reality TV history book. I predict an early exit, 10th place finish.

The Paolo Family

This team has everything I look for in a good one--East Coasters, a good sense of humor (the sixteen year old is painfully embarassed by his family and thinks he's the only sane one in the bunch), and at least the dad has lived abroad (judging by the fact that he's an immigrant from Italy). It's a team that looks like they know how to bicker effectively (unlike these two) and the homemaker who wants to make her kids proud of her has worked well in the past. I don't really have much else to say about them except that I think they'll do well. Really, really well. Prediction: 1st place millionaires right here.

The Godlewski Family

Adult sisters racing together? Well, we've tried that three times before, and the results were mixed. I don't really like the pink thang they've got going on. There is nothing about this race that could be categorized with a pink hue. There just isn't. But they are scrappy midwesterners, which is a plus. As with the team above, there's really nothing to make fun of, nothing too descript about them yet. So we'll leave it at that, and predict a 7th place finish.