Week Two - My Thoughts

All right, I'm beginning to think this Race is beginning to turn into "The Amazing Abuse of Local Reenactors Race" (TAAOLRR), anyone else with me on this one?! Seriously, with the "don't hurt your general" last week and "oops, sorry dude" as they roll the injured off the stretchers, I would live in fear if I was a Paul Bunyan reenactor and they were coming this way.

Another solid episode. I laughed, I didn't cry when the Rogers were eliminated (probably mainly because they aren't one of my teams), and Billy Gaghan continues to make me smile.

And without any more prattle, my thoughts.

Did anyone else notice that right after they left the pitstop, the Godlewskis stopped for gas and one sister said, "You've got ten bucks in there, that's enough for now!" Dude, that wouldn't even get me down the block today. I miss July.

It's a shoe! A giant...shoe? Well, they've seen a hand and a duck before, so a shoe isn't out of the question. But, apparently, this shoe servers locals really good Ice Cream. That's my kind of shoe. So much more useful than Prada.

And it's off to DC! Which is not, as Ma Weaver put it, "in the state of Washington?" (she must be really into those states since she figured out that Pennsylvania is one). You know, instead of praying for help everytime you open a map, maybe you should pray for a geography lesson. Or that your daughters will stop dressing like circa 1970s Rollergirls.

A clue! An actual clue with something they actually have to find (the clue box)! Oh, refreshing. I probably would have screwed up on this, too, since the only reflecting pool I know of in DC is the one Jenny ran through to get to Forrest faster. This was totally a shout-out task to episode two, season one, with the whole Focault's Pendulum debacle. But I still can't believe the Gaghan's wandered around the wrong pool for two hours, and wouldn't even stop when Billy wanted to ask someone for directions. That's a move worthy of Don and MJ. But maybe they'll pull it together if they remember they're in "race mode" not "stupid mode", as was the admonishment when the kids were making faces at the camera in the car. Honestly? If I was nine years old and there was a camera pointed at me all the time, I'd totally spend time making faces at it. Oh, who am I kidding--I'd do it now! Maybe that's why they haven't cast me.

And now it's time for the coolest roadblock of the season so far (well, it's the first one, but whatever). These are my favorite kind of roadblocks, along the line of the Venitian Carnival and the Argentinian Tango. And it's here where my teeny, tiny bit of enduring okayness with the Paolo family occurred, because they are obviously fans of the show--not only was yonger Paolo boy the only one to recognize Kevin and Drew last week, this week DJ paid attention to the fact that "only ten briefcases are an exact match to the one you have in your hand" part, which is why he was running so funny trying to look at the briefcases. And seriously, who doens't want to play spy for the day? I personally harbor fantasies of being a spy, especially since Jennifer Garner because the spokesperson for covert operations recruitment for the CIA. I'm hoping that they okay'd it with Homeland security because if they didn't? Little Carissa might have been spotted getting a briefcase out of an unmarked limo [by the way, was anyone else hoping the Paolos would bang on the wrong limo and get hauled off by the Secret Service?] and then trading it with a stranger in the park, and her picture could have been on the front of the Washington Post the next day, with the caption "The Little Terrorist Who Could". Some of these spies (like the ones the Gaghans got) were playing their role a little too much--seriously, that spy was SEVERE. But I did like the one that, when told "The sky is blue" replied, "Yes, it is," and walked away. Awesome. And then the Paolos pull another move which wants me to wish them nothing but off my screen when DJ goes, "Thank you, my brother" to his spy. Papa Black? Totally could have gotten away with it. And seeing as how one of the Race's former contestants was a CIA Agent, wouldn't it have been a perfect opportunity for a cameo from SpyDaddy Gus?

And onto Virginia we go. Mad props to the Linz and Bransen families (maybe another one, too?) for getting off the dreaded 66 through Manassas and taking the side roads. I've been on that road in a tour bus before, and it's quite scary when the cars make a lane out of the shoulder, another lane after that, and your tour bus tries to pass again while on a declined plane. Take the backroads, dudes.

I really liked this detour. I'm not much of an American History buff, nor a loud noise fan (balloons scare me because they might, you know, POP), but I did admire this from the distance of both time and space watching it on TV. You had to wonder, though, what was crazier for those fallen soldiers--being a "wounded" soldier in a Civil War battle, or being surround by a gaggle of shrieking harpies (Godlewskis, you know I love you!) wondering if this guy was light enough for them to carry? Oy. I also think the Weavers would have learned their lesson by now and done the battle option, as opposed to something which includes rolling objects.

And the Rogers family. All episode. You know, if you're a southern baptist and you live by the literal interpretation of the Bible (as I'm sure Pa Rogers does), you'd think that he'd learn to, you know, read things carefully. Like a map. Hope the Hurricane threw some stones your way so that Brock no longer has to cast the first one, but now is free to turn you into a pile of fundamentalist pulp.

Wow. I had no idea my reaction to them was so strong. I really don't think it is, except that was a really fun paragraph to write.

And Phil, what's up? Have you lost your mojo? You gave away a trip to Bermuda and it wasn't "beautiful" or "exotic", but you extolled the virtures of the nine hole golf course? Oh well. I think the Weavers will enjoy it. But I doubt they'll have any idea where Bermuda are.

Some random closing thoughts...

I love the Gaghans. I've said it before, I've said it again. They're normal. The kids are kids. Billy notices Carissa isn't doing much, parents say, "Well, she's doing what she can," and Billy fires back, "Can I have her job, then?" The parents aren't toting they in front of the cameras like little Gary Coleman and Rudy Huxtible, it's more like the Taylor kids--functioning members of the family unit. And with two tots they choose the heavy lifting / strength detour. And do it better than many of the other teams. Now, I know the parents are both marathoners, but I'm beginning to think they're the Incredibles. I think that Ma and Pa Gaghan were actually cast for an earlier season but couldn't find a babysitter, so they made this season for them.

I go back and forth on the Schroeders (remember, I had huge intial dislike), but they're growing on me. Pa Schroeder is kind of like that rude kid in the back of the classroom that makes fun of the substitute teacher, but really they're good kids (and I know the type well).

Enough with the Free Winona and Free Martha (and Free Ron, for that matter). I think it's time to FREE BROCK!

I envision two different ends for the Paolos. In one, their car breaks down no where near a gas station, Tony's sitting on the edge of the road crying with his face in his hands, and Marion has both her boys by the neck, shaking them like a pair of chickens. Wouldn't that be fantastic? In my other vision, they do this.

Next week...it looks like they're off to Alabama. Will the Weavers know where to go, or will they think they are becoming...GROUPIES?!

Scrappy, signing off.